It's a really ambitious idea- a lovely, commendable idea- but I don't feel you quite pulled it off. And this is where I'm being unhelpful: I don't know why. One thing that was strange: Why 'Mond?' It seems to have little relevance.

It's so obvious and in our face, yet it's probably one of the most enigmatic and powerful pieces ever. Your work is incomparable.

Hmm, haven't reviewed this, how odd. Oh well, I'm a b*tch, what can I say? This is really extraordinarily unique, but you know that, and really so macabre...really paints this *twisted* picture of war...made me shudder and feel slightly sick...utterly incredible. It's really one of those poems that leave you in a state of shock somehow. Great job. On the other hand, I wandered back to this poem because I was wondering where you'd gone to. It's been a while since you posted anything! Please keep writing! Love, Mia

another awesome creation.~Liz

Love the word play. Seems like you enjoy it too, from your other stuff. Thats fun.

brilliant. i have little else to say.

I really like this poems even though I often find poems about war rather cliched. This adds a new perspective and is really well written. (:

Wow.

Powerful, clever, and so well written.

A very, very unique poem.

It is intriquing and powerful and so amusing - lacing the German language in adds such a nice flavor to it - and I just love it; the referances, the blantant meaning to this, it is brought out so real and . . . well. It makes one love to hate it and vice-versa, which I find even more intriquing.

~* Noelle

Quite intriguing, I enjoyed its use of words.

Emancipated all our sins in Him,

Our prophet leader and his reveries,

Allowed time's grey our murders to make dim,

While eagle banners red flew cloud eyries;

Proud legions marched assorted in sundries,

Unified mechanical bodies trim,

Endless filed to horizon's distant rim,

Having pledged lives and all their destinies;

p.s Your poem has many bayonets piercing many shibboleths to tiny bits. m

This is really fun in a depressing way; I find it prodigious how you make puns seemingly effortlessly and they actually mean something.