Michael, you have beautful writing. This is probably my favourite piece you have written. Your writing is so vulnerable and I admire that you put yourself out there. I cannot offer you any advice when it comes to your writing. I just hope for your sake you stick with it. No girl has any right to break your heart, but I thank them for it because I would not have gotten to experience anything so moving. Thank you.

I read this several times over a span of a few weeks, and i still come up with the same expression/feeling which is 'Hm'. It starts off great and stays steady in the middle, and the subject matter is cool and enticing but the ending... Maybe its the second to last line that bugs me. If it read "or like his soul had it's way with her" , instead of 'him',It would cause me to say something other than "Hm".-Scottie