i really liked the middle of this, it seemed like it really came into itself. the stanza with the artists really worked for you and the allusions were subtle but impactive. all in all, a great write, but i thought the end was a little abrupt and that the "what comes up must come down" line was just a tiny bit ciche, but it was still really good. you have a great sense of flow.

profound. the message really struck me. the flow seemed effortless, stream of consciousness; reminded me of the beat generation, in a very good way. the imagery and the thought process and the way it was all so personal yet so relatable was perfect. and i adored the end message. wonderful.

kind of bleak, but good! I know you were aiming for a bit more inspirational than that, but you're good at disturbing and depressing. more direct than most of your work, kind of reminds me of ani difranco a bit? anyway, nice work, chica.