Awesome story! You muct update ASAP...lol. Great job.

You are becoming an amazing writer. I am impressed at how life-like your stories are, I feel as though I'm actually there. )Keep up the good work, and keep updating. I lok foward to the next few chapters.

You need to give a background on each of the characters. Give about a paragraph per person, It may make it longer, (the first chapter) but it's neccesary, because as a reader, i couldn't remember who was who, or what they were like. Other than that, good start, and nicely done suspense.