FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Wing Chant 2006-08-27 ch 1,  | abuseThe thing I've always adored about your poems is the consistant visual imagery you have etched out before your reader's eyes. I've been impressed with your ability to conjure such vivid detail about the most simple objects or even capturing an emotion you are feeling at the precise moment from the heart of a poet around my own age! ^^ Hehe!! In this case, you relate all unsettled feelings and musings about your romance with a nameless signifigant other to the landscape you pass inside a vehicle and the (quite effectively pulled off, I would think). I would like to see less use of the word "&" in your poems, just because I think it kind of hinders the flow, but that's me. *shrugs* =S All the best, Kayla |
| Cicy Chan 2006-07-23 ch 1, | abusesomewhat bittersweet, i like it... |
| emeraude-irlandais 2006-07-23 ch 1, | abuseThis is so rhythmic, you can almost imagine saying it in a dark, underground cafe. I'm not too sure why you started the first stanza with "and", it could be stylistic, but it's really kind of awkward. In the second stanza, "smacks" is a little too rough, it messes up the ethereal feel of the rest of the poem. The last stanza is gorgeous, though. `~bella~` |