 Aquafied 2006-08-07 . chapter 1i have forgotten what it feels like to live
dont worry, you can deal with the trade off
i dont think the title fits this at all |
 ronshaberry 2006-07-30 . chapter 1You think you’ve been blinded.
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(is that why things are falling apart?)
I love that. It took me five seconds to figure. Yay! |
 Moondog Dozier 2006-07-25 . chapter 1This has a wonderful sparseness of wording. It uses just the right descriptive words without taking away the mystery of the situation. The subtle movements throughout really enhance the sense of connection. Very well written. Good work. |
 Halcyon Impulsion 2006-07-24 . chapter 1The last stanza is the best I think. Write on, because forgetting can bring us back to why we do what we do and make us brilliant all over again :) |
 Kaitlyn J. Richards 2006-07-23 . chapter 1the structure...the words...the flow......the poem...it's wonderful. "The portrait of desperation"= best line.
X Anita (please review back) |