This is a series of images you connect to your perception of Debussy by his work. Do you actually know anything about him? You don't seem to by this poem. Once again, this is just an experiential ramble, a useless poem excepting it's undeniable validity as a personal expression.

Wow. I have no idea what's going on here, but you've certainly painted an interesting picture, if nothing else. As far as that steev person goes, I would disregard him/her, because he/she left a similar comment on something I wrote, and I've came to the conclusion that he/she has nothing nice to say about anyone's work. Anyway. Keep writing! :)

T^T Such beautiful words you have dispalyed before my eyes! I just had to read this out loud.. lol. Please continue to keep writting. ^^

I thought the beginning of this was mediocre, which is strange for you. Even in your most arcane pretensions, you can usually still decipher images, or a mood. I just didn't connect anything interesting until the last two stanzas, which were very desert flavored. Find a better beginning to your ending and you'll be set.

The title is a waste.

L3: "Claude"- why? The constant use of both first & last name becomes tiring & is pointless besides. I would give that the name bore enough weight for it's own line if you hadn't already used it in the title; as such, it doesn't merit it.

L4-5 & S2: two phallic images in a row, followed by sexual imagery makes it seem as if you're saying something, which you then completely abandon. The lineman stuff is irrelevant & confusing. Do you mean "taut" (L7)? If so, proof your damn work, you LAZY BASTARD! If not (& I think it's usage is intentional- "taut" would create an unpoetic contradiction), the word-play is lost to the reader, unless it's something about the cliched obediance of Japanese women- that's all I can think of. But then, this wouldn't relate at all to the preceding/following strophes.

Anyways, L6-12 could be cut without any loss; they just act as meaningless fluff, & the connotations of 11&12 is already plenty supplied by his name.

Basically, fool around with the first five lines, & the last three. The rest is poor.

Having played some of his pieces on clarinet, I have to say I agree with the message of this poem. It is a pretty acurate description with a hint of flavor. Nice work. Keep writing, s.

i really like this poem =) even though i dnt understand osme things in there but i still like it =)

The individual lines are unique, and they normally provide good imagery. This imagery, however, completely lacks cohesion. I realize that it is completely intentional on your part, but I feel that your work would be more appealing and illustrate greater skill if it was coherent.

I like. It feels rich (and not just because of the next-to-last stanza.) This is, perhaps, one of my (if not the)favourite of your poems.