This is going on the favourites! I love 'hypnotic hum' and 'peverse reversal'. You always use assonance really, incredibly well. And there is subtle alliteration that ties the piece together like 'Staring slack-jawed'. Oh keep it up!

Damn, girl. Slam is your natural form if people were condensations of words. (Nicely chosen subject matter, too). I particularly like the bit about moths.