FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Diaphanous 2008-07-08 ch 1,   | This is a very well written poem, I love how it says all of the things I never knew I wanted to say. |
| a silenced revolution 2007-02-05 ch 1, | I agree that the three "whys" at the end through it off. But otherwise, I really like it. Good work. |
| hateandkill-D 2006-09-26 ch 1, | I really liked this. The flow is wonderful, but the 3 why?s at the end kinda throw it off... Might just be me though... Anyway, Great job! |
| Silver Finger 2006-07-25 ch 1, | yeah, out of self pity, but it worked though. |
| sylvia's syndrome 2006-07-25 ch 1, | I think you did a good job with the rhyming in this piece. It flowed well and sounded natural. The diction in this is interesting, too. I liked the images you created with the line, “burned the calendar and stopped the clock.” I don’t much care for the swearing. I’m not opposed to the language, but I think it cheapens this poem. It seems like you were grasping for words, couldn’t find the right ones, so you threw in some swears. I think you can find a better, more potent, more poetic way of expressing yourself. You obviously have talent; use it. |