an interesting story.

keep writing. :)

O_O!

argh, what a horrible ending!! er... not like it was BAD it was just so EVIL OF YOU!! >=O that CAN'T be the end of a story!! you must write the sequel soon or... i... will be sad. haha.

it was surprisingly violent at the end. O.o yes, the ending was a little rushed. i wish you'd have spent a bit more time building up the action with the chase and the fight and stuff. also, the AIDS line seemed just a bit out of place... it seemed almost immature for mark. XD just my opinion.

the explanation was a bit rushed as well-- everything was summarized in a few sentences. i would have preferred some more details, but at least it told the story. :)

congrats on your first story. it's been fun. 'til next time.

-Lefty

NO LAUR STAY WITH HIM! Hah its SO OGOD

Wow...this is REALLY good. I can imagine all of this happening. AW IT'S SO GOOD! I can't wait to read more.

IT'S RACHAEL! YAY!! I FOUND IT!

hm i can feel it drawing to a climax. ;)

right, about that grammar thing... i would correct some, but i don't feel like that would make a good review. lists of grammar mistakes isn't any fun to read, but i'd be happy to edit for you, if you need it. just send me a personal message or drop me a review if you want me to.

ah ok, that twin thing makes a little more sense now. yeah, it sounded like ethan was actually smaller and weaker than ethanial.

i wonder who aden is. o.o sounds almost supernatural. too bad for jasper, though. =\

aw, the story is almost ending? :( well it's been great so far. let's have a great ending, too! (i don't doubt it ^_^) can't wait!

-Lefty

hmm.. even more mystery. what happened to her parents and her other siblings? how did they all die? and how did Jasper become the monster that he is? (so many questions!!)

the twins have become my favorite characters. ;) love them-- they both have distinct personalities. the only thing that confused me is... how is ethan smaller than his brother if they're twins? i would think they'd be the same size... and age.

well, the plot thickens! can't wait to see what you have in store for the next paragraph!

-Lefty

Wow. I mean, wow. I won't even bother critiquing... There's nothing plot-wise to critique, and grammar wise... Get an editor. He/she will fix that. This is... amazing. This is... wow. I am completely blown away, and I'm not even done reading yet. Please, please, please continue to update, and when you are done, send it to an editor, and get it published. Alright? Promise? Good. :)

Cabn't wait to see how it all pans out! :)

Amazing chapter again. the twins remind me of some movie I have seen but I can't put my finger on it.

I check everyday for the next chapter. I am so invovled in this story now lol.

*sigh* twincestual rapists?

this is getting so sad. =( i hope everything turns out alright in the end. (mark WILL save her!)

aw, she has feelings for him. cute. =P

all her brothers are really creepy. i hope you'll tell us how they got this way... it doesn't seem like this is a new thing to them.

everything's so mysterious! can't wait for the climax. :D-Lefty

Wow.

I'm loving it. To be honest I didn't think it would be like this. It's dark, cold, brutal, tender and lovely. It fits my needs haha. Anyway, I'm really curious about what happened to Laur's parents and her brother Ryan! I think it is important.

Just a random note, it called my attention to know that you're talking about a six siblings family here, five males and a female, a couple of twin brothers being two of the males. I'm currently working on a story about six siblings, five males and a female, AND a twin brothers! hehe... However my story is VERY different from yours, mine ahs nothing to do with pedophile and dark situations, mine is mere entertainment of cliché romances. No kidding! Five males and a female! My story's called "The Annevelink Tales" and I have it in another account in FP, my other account under the name of Perverse.

So yeah.. the bottomline is, I love your idea, I really hope you can publish new chapters really soon.

O Kinky.. Aw damn.. .so wrong I should not be supporting this well-made story. But I am, so Hah, IN your Face Society.

O_O i think it's more of a case of pedophilia with her brother. he's just really creepy. O_O

go mark! go! XD

good luck with high school! you'll be fine. (evenutally) update asap!

-Lefty