that's sweet ^^ i like how the chorus flows in with the verses.. it'd make a great song

This just throw a million and one images into my head, and most of them weren't clean. I loved the repetition and it felt so chaotic and sensual, but yeah I have known girls like that. Awesome work especially with the mood.

I really like it so col! Read my storys to! I'm becking you to the altar but will you take the bate and make me your mate but not for long just for a date but if you shal take the bate I will glady accept and also I dont say this to everyone and also I suck at poetry!So write me back if you dare...jk

I suggest masturbation.

... juvenile humour aside...

great emotions, great images. I can really see her, and feel the narrator's obsessive nervousness. I really like that image of her with one finger forward beckoning.