I think this is my favorite of your works so far. I really enjoy the rhyming, especially toward the end. There are a lot of very interesting plays on the ear there, with "ride->side->replied" and "repeat->deceit->discreet->complete->elite" etc. I very much enjoy when the rhyming breaks into the middles of phrases as you've done here on occassion. Also, I'm a huge fan of alliteration and there are some very nice instances here, such as 'cold, crisp night" and "when you whispered" etc. The stanza breaks are very helpful here in determining the end of a beat phrase and the beginning of a new one. And again, the cultural flavor is nice, with phrases such as "when I seen how the ocean..." Usually poor grammar would annoy me, but with your work, it seems to add spice to them. I wouldn't change it. Keep them coming, I really enjoy your work.

Your style of writing is intriguing, and your words even more. They make you want to read between the lines to get the real meaning of the poem. Powerful words, powerful message.

EB