Well written, clean, imaginative. Superb imagery and conveyance of emotion.

Minuses: *Very* English-English, I doubt that some of this would be accessible to our friends across the pond. The changes in POV character at the end take a little getting used to. I wonder if they're actually necessary? I know you've written an epilogue, could those few paragraphs not serve as an introduction?

Overall, if this was at LitE I'd score it 5, if it was SoL I'd score it 10. First class stuff, Sil.