FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| RikuDrak 2007-10-02 ch 1,  | abuseI think this story has potential, a lot of it. There were only some minor spelling errors I found, such as "form" instead of "from" and some grammar errors. If you worked a little on the flow of events, also on the descriptions of what is happening (I found a lot of things were unclear and I had to guess), this story would really be incredibly intriguing. It may also help to use more diverse words, if you need to you can use thesaurus and look for synonyms. Not bad :D |
| Air'De Jo 2006-07-27 ch 1, | abuseI like this story. I want to know more about the characters. I really like it. ^_^ |