Reviews for What I Found In My Lunch Today

Reviews For: What I Found In My Lunch Today - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

All Alone With Her Thoughts 2007-01-02 ch 1,	abuseHi, this is hayleysfriend from neopets. I've been asked to review the first chapter. This is cute. =) Very unique for sure. ^^ Might give me science nightmares though...-shiver- Rowan.
writingsweetheart 2006-10-02 ch 4, anon.	abuseI liked the first one, but the rest of these seem ridiculous. Nikki doesn't seem like a right fit for her name, to start. And she's cinical and sarcastic, not lazy and asinine. There is a difference, despite what some may think. The story seems to have lost it's fun and creativity. It seems almost cliche not.
Strings 2006-09-26 ch 4, anon.	abuseI know someone said this already, but there was a definite shift in Nikki's character, somewhere around Chapter 3/Chapter 4. o_0But this story, I think, is doing the best (out of the ones I've read so far) of keeping the style. It's ingenious, but really silly, which is fun. ^_^
pyra250 2006-08-09 ch 3,	abuseHmm...this chapter seemed a little too rushed for me. At first you mention school, which made me feel that it was a little rambly to be brought up again in the third section of it in that type of thoughtful manner. Besides that, I felt a slight shift in Nikki's character. Anyway, those are just a few thoughts of mine. :)
Strings 2006-08-09 ch 3, anon.	abusePssh... nice, Keeki, ending right in the middle of the chapter xDGood job answering the question. That was what the last chapter was hinting at, I realize now, and I liked how you affirmed that.This story is coming along great! My science geek brain just said "Maybe that's why electrons orbit the nucleus and don't go into it and ruin the structure of the atom- because they hate each other!"Yeah right. But great going, anyhow.
Strings 2006-08-09 ch 2, anon.	abuseInteresting element of mysteriousness here... now I want to read the next chapter. I think it probably made it harder for the next person to write, but that's just me looking.Nice transition of style, Carpe. That was nifty.
Strings 2006-08-09 ch 1, anon.	abuseI think the more the chapter went on, the better it got; the style just seemed to grow and hold me in better. For some reason, the first part sounded like a story that would be told verbally, not written...But great job! I love the plot idea xD
puppyrock3 2006-08-08 ch 1,	abuseThis is a very interesting story. I like the theme.
Starle Moonlight 2006-08-07 ch 2,	abuseHey Sid! Don't beat me. I'm reviewing. :D I enjoyed your chapter very much. You did a great job of continuing the same tone from the first chapter, which I'm sure is hard to do. There's nothing that jumps out at me that's grammatically wrong. You get a cookie for that. :D I'm just a little frustrated that the character is so inattentive. I know that's not really your fault, but I like to know what's happening. Oh well, I guess that's what will keep me reading on, right? One thing I noticed: "Instead, I watch a serious-looking Proton that was staring emptily at the head honcho." Why would a Proton be at this meeting? Wasn't it all Neutrons? Other than that, it was fabulous. Great job!
roran_stronghammer 2006-08-07 ch 1, anon.	abuseVery good. You seem to be talking to the audience a lot though. I'm not sure if that's the style you like, but I'm afraid I won't be of much help with writing like that (It's not exactly my turf). I would add more description though. Everything is really vague and I have a hard time picturing things. But that's it. Like I said, not my turf. Very Good. Very original and interesting plot!
ARSALAN 2006-08-05 ch 1, anon.	abuseVery creative...wickedly unique and illusively realistic...you have described the science fiction at it's very core; the ATOM. "choosing human to keep up the peace?? bad idea" lolexcellent writing Teagen
Teagen 2006-08-05 ch 2, anon.	abuseIt defintely moves the story along. It's different from what I was thinking, but it's still great! You really keep her sly humor alive, and that's always important.
Carpe 2006-08-05 ch 1, anon.	abuseHaha...what can I say about this? Well, it was pure genius for a plot to begin with. xD I was very surprised when I saw this (and a bit ashamed of my bleh, cliche starter page). But I was happy to be able to write the next part. ^_^ I love how you keep a relaxed, yet informative tone through the whole thing and you slip in witty humor here and there without overdoing it. Pure brilliance!
whackacake 2006-08-03 ch 1,	abuseThis was my favorite story (BESIDES MY OWN! xD) to add to. I guess because it's my genre? I can't remember which chapter number it was that I added though... But anyway, it was so original! How in the world did you come up with the idea? Keep up the good work. ^_^
Celtsea 2006-08-01 ch 1,	abuseAnother thing i love about your writing style, You talk to the reader. And you do it well, whenever most do it it looks bad. But you pull it off.

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