FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Kriss-C 2006-08-13 ch 1,  | abuseI loved how the whole poem bulids up to the end... That last part is the one that just gets me... Makes me want to stand up and clap... Great job! Great Poem... |
| sylvia's syndrome 2006-07-30 ch 1, | abuseI really enjoyed this piece. I like the message and the rhyming. Rhyme can be difficult to use effectively, but it think you did an admirable job. This piece really flows – it feels like it could be a song just as easily as it is a poem. However, I found your diction a little verbose in places. For example, in the line “steady dreaming of perfection never facing what’s really real,” the word ‘really’ is redundant and unnecessary. It’s simply in the way. But other than a few small issues like that, this piece is excellent. Keep up the good work! |