It's been awhile since I read this, sorry. I enjoyed this chatper, there was some good progression here and it did not have the distinct feeling of a 'filler' chapter. I still eagerly look forward to where this is going, though I must recommend that you exceed your self-allocated 6 chapter limit to give this imaginative peice the room it deserves to bloom.

I liked the vocab here too and I respect the lack of repitin of words, there was a lovely cocktail in here, it was intoxicating!

It was pretty good, nice imagery.

"A chill transcended the grassy fen, sending chills up the spine in a similar sensation to that of being watched."

A chill sent a chill down his spine? :P

I am completely confused.

At the start there it is ominous and pretty good, the line about the others being dead is very good. There is almost too much suspence, but that may just be because I am reading such a little bit.

Okay. I'm just going to post things as I go along. (:

Alright. The first thing I assumed is that you are fond of a thesaurus. (: It's both a blessing and a curse-- I have the same problem. xD I say this because in your first paragraph, it seems as if you're focusing more on using long words to convey the image then allowing the reader's imagination to do the work. I did love the similies, though. (:

"sighing of the wind as he struggled to catch the barely visible frame"

He? You were just describing the voice, not the voice's owner. Perhaps "..sighing of the wind as the voice's owner struggled to catch the barely visible frame..."

""So, you don't really want me to do anything, do you?" he asked, stumbling over tree stumps as he kept forgetting to watch where he was walking." Too many he's. e_e I suggest putting his name again, just so the reader doesn't lose their mind. xD

All in all, I like it. Very good job. (:

That was nice, not as story driven as the other chapters but it was a nice little read and somewhat of a social commentary. I think that this has derailed somewhat, was there ever a clear structure or does each individual writer do as they please? I'm not complaining, you ARE all very talented but with 3 chapters to go it isn't really going anywhere. You're next 3 writers are going to have a difficult task tying the various plot threads together, methinks, but I trust that I'll be satisfied with the conclusion.

I have enjoyed each chapter and you are all skilled writers, I just think that you need to communicate a little more, it is as though you are walking through a pitch black hallway with a flickering lighter, unsure of where to go, opening up doors randomly, sometimes finding tigers and other times beautiful women.

This chapter seemed to change the tone of the story. It was all morbid and dark/depressing, and then Keeki wrote something new into it. Refreshing change. Wonder what'll happen next?

I did not like writing on this story at all. Writing Guy is right, it's just a filler chapter.

". . .one eye blue, he other brown." he = the

Okay, there were numerous spelling mistakes here and it was quite short. This particular chapter didn't really have the same appeal as the others and although it took the story in a new direction I feel as though it was merely a 'filler' chapter -- a very well written one though, don't get me wrong. I think that the second chapter is probably the best so far as it revealed the most about the story and added something of great imagination, something new and intriguing.

Depending on how long you're planning on making this I would suggest that you start explaining things, I'm still in the dark here and getting a little bit frustrated.

That's just a little friendly advice though, I'm just nitpicking. You're all doing a fine job so keep it up.

"Your standard dark alley." Setting changed from the vague beginning. I don't think there are tree stumps to trip over in 'your standard dark alley'.

"He had a feeling that he might need to be killed for this thing to die tonight as well." A rather confusing sentence.

" “I need you to pick up and using this. . ." pick up what? name the object or use 'it'.

"His marking knife, and the rumors were circulating. . ." a marking knife? What's so special about the blade or whatever ceremony used to gain the knife, to give it 'marking knife' for a title? Explain that briefly.

". . .not a lot who felt their blade on their skin managed to tell afterwards about the experience." 'Their blade', or 'the blade'?

Rather creepy. The dark mood has been kept from chapter one even though there was a shift in setting. The child makes me twitchy; it talks.

I like how the two characters are different from the start. There's definately some conflict going on here from the way they interact. Not a lot of setting details, it's dark and they're someplace where they're stumbling over tree stumps. A good but vague start.

It was a shame that you had to kill my Zane, but I understand. :( I like how you matched my writing style nearly perfectly. xD Not that it's hard to do, but not many people like it, so yeah.

Anyway, this was a brilliant chapter. I liked how you presented the conflict slowly and had Wes turn on Zane rather than the child (which was a rather unexpected turn while I was reading it).

I can't wait to see where the next person took it. :D

That was good. It was just as mysterious as the first chapter and I am still unsure of what exactly is going on, though that's not necessarily a bad thing by any means (It's like a good episode of Lost or Twin Peaks, sometimes things don't really need to make sense at first).

This story is quite fast moving and intriguing, I wasn't expecting the death of of Zane, it was quite a surprise, I thought that this was going to be a bit of a 'buddy' story. I guess I was mistaken.

Anyway, I think that you may have made a small mistake when you said "knives", shouldn't that be "knife's"?

Keep up the good work.

Same tone and style as the first chapter (I assume that's what you're going for?). Well written. There's suspense and you want to know what happens next. Nice job, Tev.

Okay, I have to be honest. Everyone in the guild? Remember how I was complaining about adding a chapter to a story I really hated? Yeah, well, this was the story. xD I'm sorry Carpe! It's not that it's badly written, it's actually fantastically written, it's just not my thing. I'm a humor story person. Just look at the story I myself started. (The one called An Ironic Sort of Day) And, the best line in the entire story (Trust me, I wrote chapter 5 and gave it the title) is this:

Fog swirled up from the crevices of the ground like zombies rising to terrorize humanity.

THAT IS LIKE THE BEST LINE I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE.

Props to Carpe. :D

And Tev, who wrote chapter two brilliantly. ^_^ (I knew it was you, Tev). xD

Hey guys, it' Quaz.

A bit abrupt and such, and it seems a bit dragged on. Nice descriptions though.