I like the rewrite. Good job!

This could be a Punk song. Nice job.

WOW i love it i really do keep it up

Wow this is really good. I like how it's so passionate in so few lines . I'm glad that guy made you feel like trying poetry again . Keep Star

First of all, thank you for the great review! I was feeling tired and annoyed and it really made my day.

Second of all, I really like this poem. Up until the 6th line I'm really into it, but something about "I’ll love you from now until the end of my days." doesn't sit right with me. It could be the rythm, or maybe I'm just weird. The opening is wonderfully strong and I especially like the concept of realizing the typical signs that people say mean love really are accurate.

No real advice other than (perhaps) changing that line and maybe changing the word 'swear' to 'know'- it's a little stronger and doesn't rhyme with tear and share.

Very good! If said guy disapproves/doesn't appreciate it, I shall come after him with a chainsaw and an angry mob to back me up.(Kidding! I'm not a stalker.)

well, i dont know if you just meet the guy or what, but he'll love it when he sees it . i love the description with fire and ice... reminds me of robert frost :)

It's perfect the way it is. Love is beautiful and sweet; be sure to keep it that way.

Leeona Trance