The shortness of this chapter kind of weirded me out. Some of the other stories I've read have short chapters like this one, which doesn't really look right with the one page rule. But that's probably because of dialouge. (This is also why there isn't much description, sometimes. I think there's a lack of space... not a bad thing, though)Because of the shortness, I feel like not much happened here, but at least we know what is maybe going to happen. A good spot to leave off at. The writing style was quite good, as well.

I just realized that I messed up the tenses. x_x Sorry about that.-moving onward-

Huh... this story is really going in different places than I expected... but it is quite interesting. 0_oI liked how you subtly told about her friends, and gave more information that way. That's something you're quite good at, Tev. ^^The weird thing is that we're still not learning that much more about Lanortha's history, although that, to me, seems to be important to the story. But that's really just an opinion.Can't wait to see how this turns out.

I just loved this story, and I really like how you added on to it! Great job, Tev!-Chibi =^.^= *mrow!*

Alright, so I'm reviewing as I go. The first chapter was fine all by itself. It made me want to read more, so kudos for chapter 1.

Chapter 2:I find it kind of hard to beleive that Lanortha's friends showed up, told her they were trapped in a spirit world, and just got free, and that she believed them. Perhaps if they convinced her a bit more, I might find this more believeable.

Other than that, this is good so far! Definately keep going!

Hah! Hah! I'm posting for my own page! Hah...Anyway.I can't wait to see what you guys came up with for the rest of this. I hope I can take this and maybe write a story on my own with it... Chibi, you've done a great job so far.Now on to the rest of the stories.

Thankies, Strings! Hm...yeah I guess she wasn't very emotional in her given situation, now that you mention it, Starle Moonlight.-Chibi o_^

Great. You answered some questions while leaving more unanswered! Seriously, though, you did a great job of continuing from the first chapter. You were able to work well with what you were given as well as contribute more.

I would have liked to see a little more of Lanortha's personality, but that will probably come later. The only thing I wasn't to sure about was her attitude toward her friends. She never really seemed mad to begin with. You could have made her a bit more emotional being in the situation she was in (most people would be). Good job!

Hey, nice job, Chibi! There were a few things I'd fix, but nothing major. I liked how you continued it.

I like how this unraveled a little at a time, but I agree with the whole mentioning something you did when you were fifteen. The round-about way of mentioning the past confused me in some spots, though.

But, also a restatement, I liked the last sentence. :) It was a cliffhanger, and yet left it open for the next person. Good job!

Woah, that last sentence surprised me. ^_^ I haven't had this story yet, so I'm very excited to read what will happen (AND I GET TO WRITE THE ENDING -Dances-). It's definitely not my genre, not at all, but I really loved it for some reason. O_O Kind of like what I thought about the story Drake wrote the first chapter of. -Nodnod- I loved it. ^_^ Keep up the good work.

I love the idea for this story. However, I wish you would have spent a little more time discussing what this girl and her friends did when she was fifteen. I was a little confused about what "Yore" was. And why they were in that alley. But that will probably be explained later. I'm just impatient.

Did you realize you didn't name your main character? That's a little important. You really should have given her name somewhere in this first chapter.

Other than that, I love your style and your grammar was very good. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Hey! It's me. I thought that it was great. Nice dialouge and stuff. I like how it jumps from the present into the girls past. I would try to use more descriptive if I were you. That's about it.

The ending leaves you wanting to read more, but maybe a little more detail?I'm not very good at reviews... sorry.The last two paragraphs could be revised a little; some of the wording is a bit off.