Reviews for Run Away - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Run Away

EWC Teacher 2008-06-01 ch 1, anon.	abuseWhat did he/she actually do to cause them to run away? Also, I find it a bit confusing about who did what to whom? Don't run away,/Stay for a while/Stay with me... would dialogue quotes help here? or a pronoun? We seem to be in the runner's mind, but then hear the voice of someone else who wants the runner to stay home, and then return to the runner's mind with "pool of regrets". It's a bit confusing.
Flore Verde 2007-12-20 ch 1,	abusewow. that is brilliant. I can hear a melody in my head... And it sounds GOOD... Never EVER stop
Midnight Star Lights 2006-10-18 ch 1,	abuseI have felt that way sometimes too. Anyway, I really loved your poem. Keep it up! I hope to see more of you work. HUGS
Adrian Davies 2006-09-27 ch 1,	abuseMy favourite on here so far. Different from what you've done before. It's experimental in that sense, and Lord knows I love experimentalism. For a first song then, it's good. Some things to improve upon: having a slight rhyming scheme can tremendously improve the flow and feel of a song (nothing fancy, maybe for a verse). Also, the verse-chorus structure is wonderful for beginners, but make a note to expand into something a little more unconventional in the future. That's pretty much it. Keep at it!
riotmaker 2006-09-27 ch 1,	abusei really like this. i love the way the lie repeats but progresses. nice job. xoxo and ps. i love three days grace more than i could possible explain. so nice quote.
Blind Destruction 2006-08-15 ch 1,	abuseI like it. Especially how you stated that the other people were drowned. It's powerful, good work. Maybe we can make up a song for it? ;)
Neaera 2006-08-02 ch 1,	abuseI really like this and this: "We run away,Run and hide/Run away/From this desperate lie." was my favorite part just 'cause... I dunno it was just catchy... Keep it up!

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