Weird. Awesomely weird. I dont know how to say it exactly. It was short, but it definately worked. Definatlely one of my favorite pieces in recent times. Keep it up

first- I love how you write it in the beginning, so it keeps continuing and you never pause to stop and make sense of it all. and then that FINAL pause- which kind of uplifts it, really. good work.

Haunting and personal.

Lovely.

~* Noelle

what we do to keep the things we don't have...

mezzie

real cool descriptions. i like the ending, too. open ended without overuse of format. i dig it.

Great poem! I really think its beautiful from start to the almost finish.

This is just my comment but I think the poem would be more angsty if you didn't put the "because then maybe this doesn't have to end" as the ending. You should've gone all out angsty.

Anyway, its your poem and you can do whatever you want with it.

Keep Writing...

Aww, this is so sad! But it's also beautiful, so that makes up for the fact that it almost made me cry. =P

♥Christine

Wow - this was awesome. I loved all the imagery and the ending was incredible!

This is a very interesting piece. I like the non-traditional format, and the diction in this is excellent. I think some of the phrases could be more concise and some of the sentences shorter, but this is a nice piece overall. Keep up the good work!