Wow, I really liked your writing style =) It made this chapter really enjoyable and an easy read, but at the same time was advanced. I dunno if that made any sense to you, but it did to me!

I like fancy letters x3

The sister is an interesting character, lol. Wonder what's inside the package :S

There was no mommy mentioned, so was there really a need for the mommy comment?

For some reason, I feel like this story keeps jumping around from seriousness to silliness. (sp?) Reading over my chapter, I just realized that I do that as well. It's sort of a weird contrast. I like this story, but it's taking a while to get anywhere. Also, the style transitions are a bit jumpy. But the effect is interesting.

". . the special type of cliché gene that makes sure you have what it takes." Now there's a double-edged word. Cliche'.

Sweet, the building is so cool.

Lol, I just realized in ch2 Attica became “Margaret K. Keiser,”. Oh well.

"Take us!” she ordered, in that voice that only great monarchs and five year olds possess," Ain't that the truth.

"What we do is so important, that almost no one notices it." Now there's a line with a grain of truth to it.

Nice, the whole Robbie appearing episode caught my interest. Make the place seem magical and almost anything could happen in there.

NIGH!(Annoyed groan)I wanna know what they do!

Hmm..you've got me interested in your story now. It is a bit confusing with the whole "mommy" and "attica" thing. Maybe I'm being silly or the it being late at night is affecting me but I don't quite get what you're trying to say there. O.o;

Ah well, keep writing. The story seems really interesting.

"...Although leaving out what the buisness did made it difficult, it is also a good mysterious cliffhanger..."Right on, Tev. But it was a fun kind of difficult- I enjoyed that. I really liked this chapter, and the style in which it was written. Great job!

That was so weird, Drake- I thought this was Chibi. 0_o Good job with your writing style; you fooled me as well.What I did notice was that somehow the character's name changed from chapter to chapter, unless that was a result of the "mommy" incident. Otherwise, good job.

"Spring was playing with the peanuts on the floor when she noticed I was trying to lug the metal onto the bed." Meh, 'metal' works for what's being described, but putting 'object' after it would help make more sense. 'Metal by itself brings to mind a big heavy medallion.

". . .she had feelings, and a hollow space where her conscience was that would prompt her to scream whenever I did something to displease her." Hahaha, that's funny!

Kikil, I found your writing style quite enjoyable to read. There were many lines that made me grin. Well done.

"Hello little girl. Is your sister Attica home?" It was comical hearing the word 'mommy' come from such a big voice." *headdesk* I'm a moron. The lines are right next to each other for crying out loud! There is no mommy.

Spring is so cute, I luff her ^^. Now, onward to see what direction you lot have pushed the story in.

I really liked this chapter, I actually liked how this whole story turned out. Although leaving out what the buisness did made it difficult, it is also a good mysterious cliffhanger

Woah! Drake! I had no idea this was your story! You had me fooled, meh love. :D

It was really great. It's like half my genre, half not, so it's one of those things that pretty much everybody likes. LIKE HARRY POTTER! -Nodnod- Apparently, you and Rowling have something in common in your writing styles. The same trick. And that's something every writer should aspire to, eh? Great job Drake, and I'm not just saying that because I luffle you so much.

Nice work. It's very well-written, and the plot seems very interesting.I look foreward to the next chapterCiao,Ash (aka [dot]Prep, Super Mullet, Mullet FM Radio, Katie, Goom...)

Well it was a bit confusing. I had to re-read it to figuire out what had happened. I'm not exactly sure why I didnt catch it but I didnt. The metal box thing threw me off I think. After I figuired it out, it was pretty good. I like the first chapter better though.