Great beginning. The ending line is very strong. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

I was re-reading this and I noticed, we never got the epilogue!?! Any more stories coming soon! Please!

I LOVED this story. They have a cute relationship and I would love to see a sequel! Thanks for the story.

AWSOME AWESOME AWSOME!
lol haha loved it! and the characters names btw!
aw!so SWEET!
and so cute!
=D well done!
~Rose~

I love the inner soul idea, really interesting and original. I would've liked to have read from when they met because we didn't get to see their relationship develop much.

I liked it, good work.

I love your descriptions, as well as the names you've given your characters. Where did you come up with Jace? I love that.

You tend to get a bit comma-happy, which makes it hard to read. I would definitely go back and take out probably half of them, if not more. With so many unnecessary breaks, it makes the story hard to follow.

However, if one overlooks the commas, you have a wonderful story here. The idea of a murderous ghost sitting in the cafeteria is a great image, and I found myself laughing at Daniella and her snotty ways.

Also, it's interesting that only your main character (I don't think we ever got her name) can see/hear/feel the dead/inner-self of people. Very creative.

"murder-ring" should really just be 'murdering.'

So far, good start. This was lovely.

Cheers,
Sammy

What a powerful opening sentence. I'm definitely hooked.

ah
update soon~!

Okay.
I'M MAD.
I HAVE NO FEAR OR CONFUSION.
^ Actually, I have plenty of that.. but, eh.
And.. take your time with school work. ;)

NOO!! NOO!! NOO!! NOO!! -takes breath- NOO!! NOO!! NOO!! NOO!!
YOU MUST UPDATE!! MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!! UPDATE ASAP!!
Ciao
TEE

i review!! THIS ROCKS! but i thought "no!! he died?" then "its not the end yet. YAY!" lol update!

Rarw? Yes.

Die? Maybe.

Mad? Yes.

Good? Obviously.

This is keeping me on the edge of my seat! Please update! But I know that school can be hard, so I'm not mad at you. Just a little impatient for the next chapter. Thanks for a wonderful story!

*is not happiest person on planet right now*

You...you...you killed THEM! BAH! But don't worry, I'm not mad, I'm just upset because life is not fair. So um...fix it! And update soon so I can see how this unravels! *nods*

EEK!

EEK!

Did I tell you I love this story! Please write more son! I despise waiting and I realy realy need to read more. Need. Because it is brilliant. =)