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| it's not your fault 2008-08-30 ch 1,  | abusethis just screams pain, screams loss. i love this. |
| softersin 2008-06-11 ch 1, | abuseAMAZING. ! |
| Indigo Carmine 2007-10-04 ch 1, | abuseThis is H. Friction on his other account. Well, you've all ready gotten a flood of reviews but I figure I'll add to it-- wonderful, beautiful, twisted-- everything I like to read in poetry. Fantastic. |
| Crowerd Robinson 2007-06-14 ch 2, | abuseOn one hand, this is very straightfoward. But I also think it can be very metaphorical, as if the girl has lost something that she dearly misses but knows she will never get back. Stunning. |
| i hope you choke on skittle... 2007-06-04 ch 1, | abuseThis poem left me speechless. The emotions within this piece seem so real, so heartfelt, the pain is almost tangible. Honest to God, this has made me cry, to the extent that I can't read the second chapter just yet, in case it breaks my heart just a little bit more. You have captured the real feelings of this situation, nothing about this rings fake, and it is hard to believe that you are 15, writing with such maturity and skill. (And just so you know, her name would have been Cassie, and she would have had blue eyes and blonde hair, just like her Daddy and me. She would have been beautiful because she was part of me, and part of him, and would have been only the best of both of us.) |
| she smolders 2007-02-03 ch 2, | abuseYour words contain so much emotion in them and it all feels so real. Take care. |
| she smolders 2007-02-03 ch 1, | abuseThe fist few lines of this break my heart. |
| electric feel 2007-01-20 ch 1, | abusei like the last 3 lines |
| Zero-Sum 2007-01-08 ch 1, | abuse"a little baby born blue inside you" i love that line. a well written piece. :) |
| LovelessAngel 2006-11-15 ch 1, | abusethis reminds me of the Sex Pistols song "Bodies". this is powerful.i love it. |
| LovelessAngel 2006-11-15 ch 2, | abusewow this is powerful.i love it. |
| A Perfect Sonnet 2006-11-13 ch 2, | abuseThat last line is ridiculous in how good it is. If I could I would wrap my wrists around it and take it home with me. |
| A Perfect Sonnet 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseThis was beautiful. I think it's interesting how the rhythm of the piece sounds like it's trying to seduce you -maybe to try and convince you to help make another baby to replace the one that was lost. Wow, that comment feels a little inappropriot. I must be saying these things because your words are too good and make me dizzy so I can't write straight. |
| The Breakdancing Ninja 2006-11-13 ch 2, | abuseThis one wasn't nearly as sweet or sincere as the first chapter. Women hold onto that part of themselves the same way most people carry emotional baggage. I think the trauma springs up from that part inside a woman that internalizes a loss of a part of herself, and a demand to try and cling to what is already gone. Sometimes they do this sort of thing when there is nothing else they can hold to, sometimes it's a chemical imbalance, and other times, they don't have a realistic sense of how they're feeling, so the need materializes into a keeping of the baby as a memorabilia, as if it were a photo or a piece of paper. The first poem was absolutely beautiful. I don't know if this one needs to follow it up--it seems like it's spelling things out to help us. |
| this young lady 2006-11-10 ch 2, | abusethat hurts.so badly.it is so innocent & you must have felt so empty. lovelove x |