Oh, wow. That was awesome. Tragically short, but awesome. The frequent tangents kind of lend this creepy, half-lucid sort of vibe to the story and it's really sort of enchanting. (Forgive me if it sounds like I'm talking TOO MUCH out my **, but I'm running on low sleep and this generally makes me... more un-smarter and prone to waxing on for a while)

The whole thing had this sort of abrupt feeling that really worked well because it lended to the severity of the suicide theme. I really dug the short, descriptive style and how you kept a great handle on the over-the-top angstwank "WOE IS ME!" cliche. Overall, the story just WORKED and I'm really impressed.

Are you planning on posting more of this or is it a one-shot? Either way, fantastic job. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for posting.

All the Zappa.

8/10