Reviews for the boys go swimming

Reviews For: the boys go swimming

incognegro 2006-08-15 ch 1,	I like what you've written. I can see in your profile that you quote classic greats like Percy Shelley and William Blake, and I can tell from your poetry that you like them. :) I especially like the last two stanzas of the poem. To me, they tell a LOT about gender roles. Excellent.
Ophelia's Crown 2006-08-08 ch 1,	Why must your poetry always hold some deep dark significance?! :)Sometimes I feel as if I need to put on my own goggles and try to hold my breath and swim and reach out for even the slightest 'glimmer' of what any given word might mean to you... Did I forget to mention I love this first line? It sounds very antiqued- a line from a poem a few decades ago but it's funny to me how even though it might have come from another time the character personalities never change. boys grow with a certain curiosity and wish to know everything they can about life- though sometimes it's hard to find truth between the rays of light (glitters and glimmers) streaming through the waters... anything can distract one from finding truth. meanwhile, girls like me wish to be daring and conquer the waters of truth... but would rather feel secure within the confines and restraints of our mothers' wishes (the inner tubes)and other constraints of society... it's amazing how we'll all one day lose our childhood innocence (if not, we have already) and become the ones bestowing criticisms and worries... If I'm already there, then I do think I'm quite like the father figure here and wish to be the one swimming instead of floating carelessly. I love it.
Nathan 2006-08-04 ch 2,	Responding to a review you get is not professional. It's petty and annoying and it shows that you can't take a critique when you ask for one. If you're going to ask for opinions, be prepared not to agree with what everyone says, and don't bother us with rubbish about how your poem is perfect.
Nobody-n-Particular 2006-08-02 ch 2,	Oh! This certainly moved me to read the review. My response to your assertions: well, of course. No need to justify yourself to someone who does not understand but I found this piece nicely written. You should make it into an essay fusing some of your studies (psychology, mythology, etc) Anyway, always enjoy your work.
Nobody-n-Particular 2006-08-02 ch 1,	Nice diction and perspective.
sylvia's syndrome 2006-08-02 ch 1,	I like the images in this piece. I particularly liked the portrayal and contrast between the mothers and the fathers. It could be said that the way you portrayed them – the nagging mother and the distant father – is a bit clichéd, but I don’t think the possible-cliché takes away from the poem. Rather, I think it adds to it; it gives this poem the feeling of an old classic, even though it is very modern in style. However, I am not such a big fan of the first two stanzas. To me, they feel and sound completely fake. The diction in these two stanzas sounds pretentious and stilted. It lacks the flow of the last two stanzas, and it feels like you used a thesaurus to replace more ordinary-sounding words. This may sound silly, but it almost seems like you dressed the first two stanzas up with frills and lace, while you left the other two in blue jeans and t-shirts. The effect is not pleasing, and it gives me the impression that you are trying very hard to impress. If you want to use ostentatious diction, I suggest you use it consistently, or it will seem like you are putting up a front. However, I suggest even more that you stick to the plainer diction, because it feels real and natural and is generally much easier for more readers to relate to. You are likely to alienate readers with what many of them will see as “fancy” words. Critique requested, critique given. I hope I said something helpful.

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