|Reviews for SiX|
| SerialXLain 8/30/06 . chapter 3
O_O took me almost a month to read this XD...wow I suck.
Why did I put it off for so long? (ahaha) I'm very much in love with this, I believe. Especially Xander.
| SerialXLain 8/11/06 . chapter 2
"All my wildest dreams fluttering in the space between my soul and my mind." I love that line bunches.
Yeah so I'm still confused. XD
| SerialXLain 8/11/06 . chapter 1
Psht I'd be confused even if this completely made sense XD
But yeah. I'm confused. But the good kind... The kind that makes me want to read the next chapter right away...but I can't because I'm going through my inbox in order. Damn. :cough: Yeah. So cool prologue. _ Whee!
| Collar de Espinas 8/4/06 . chapter 3
The first thing that really struck me about this chapter was how it was very obviously through the POV of a different character. Once again, you're just showing us the little glimpses into Payton's past- 'sounded far too familiar for me to let it slip by', for instance. That definitely has stuck in my mind and I know that I'm going to be searching for more information about Payton as we go along with this story.
"It took a few rings for me to press that green button and recite an infamous reply to phones everywhere."
*LOL* See, I like Payton. He's potty-mouthed and sarcastic. And, just rambling on from my previous point, seemingly very different from Xander. Which is very, very good.
I'm not entirely sure what I think about Salem yet. She seems to have a semi-ethereal quality to her, especially when you use descriptions like "Her pale skin glowed in against the little moonlight in the graveyard" but then you shake up that 'mystical' image of her by completing the sentence with "and…was she wearing bloody PUMPS in the wet grass?" *LOL* I guess in some ways that confuses me, but mostly it just makes me want to see more of her, so perhaps I'll be able to figure her out for myself rather than relying on the perhaps biased view of Payton.
Hm. Well, honestly, I don't know very much about the four or things like that, so I'm not the best judge on how cliched they may or may not have come across in this chapter. I do know, however, that this was definitely one hell of a way to end a chapter! I definitely wasn't expecting the ending, and the way that it slowly dawned upon Payton was very effective in slowly revealing it to the reader as well.
Such a chilling ending, and very, very well paced. This was really a great chapter, sweets, and a nice follow-on from the previous shorter chapters. However, I do suppose that it's more appropriate that Xander's chapters were shorter and perhaps more disjointed, considering the state that he was in.
Oh, darling... *hugs* I hope you don't get nightmares from this! You'd better get some proper sleep tonight or I'll...err...pout? 'Cause Jack deserves a good rest.
You have absolutely no need to feel insecure even in the slightest about writing on paper! You have so much talent, sweets- and I'm not going to let you ever doubt that. So hush and listen to me gush about how much I've loved this story so far.
I loved it. I do love it. And I am really, really looking forward to more.
No worries about Amagaari- it just means that I have something to look forward to when I come back. And I feel much happier knowing that you're spending your time with Kaley well, rather than scribbling away on a story for me.
*muah* Love you lots, Jack. And there, I've reviewed. Now go spend time with Kaley! *sticks out tongue*
| Collar de Espinas 8/4/06 . chapter 2
I guess it's somewhat difficult to give a 'proper' review for such a short chapter, (hint hint, Jack- your chapters should go on forever, as you know I cannot get enough of what you write) however I'll give it a whirl.
It was really good, meeting Payton. And, random sidenote, I love that name. It was almost a teaser, showing us this little snapshot of him where there's just enough for us to be dying to know more about him but without the element of mystery to him vanishing.
And I loved this line for the gorgeous imagery so typical of your work:"All my wildest dreams fluttering in the space between my soul and my mind."
| Collar de Espinas 8/3/06 . chapter 1
Wow... Imagine my surprise and delight at finding an update from you today.
This was amazing, Jack. I loved the tone throughout, and the sense of mystery throughout. I don't think it 'confused' me, though obviously it left us asking so many questions, which I'm sure will be answered as the story progresses.
I think the 'demons' were certainly inhuman, or at least that was my interpretation. A lot of the time I felt as though you were describing creatures rather than something akin to a human.
As for grammar... I read this through twice and I didn't notice anything glaringly obvious, though if I do I'll let you know. And I'm sure Dana will catch anything that there actually is, with her hawk-eyes. Lol. However, the one thing I do want to point out is this one line...
"They pulled me into their eyes, but I pushed away the delirium they suggested towards me."
I think it needs a little restructuring as, the way I read it, the sentence says that the look in their eyes pulls Xander to them...but then the latter half of the sentence seems somewhat contradictory. Or may be it isn't at all and it's just my brain failing to work at 6:15am...when I'm meant to be writing, but instead reading what you have written. Ops...
Right, well I'm very glad Kaley let you update and I hope you two are having a good time! ...I may not have time to go through 'Schizophrene' like I said I would before I leave, but I guess that's just something for me to do when I get back.
Anyway, enough babbling. This was a great start to your story and you know I'm looking forward to lots of updates when you get back.
Lots of love.