This is my favorite part:

There is hope in the breath/Caught in the swinging dream-catcher

It has a nice rhythm to it, and definitely drew me in. I wanted to hear what came next.

You were great enough to review one of my poems so now I'm returning the favor.

I really like this. It's wonderfully scatter-brained but it has beautiful imagery. You can feel the middle part where you say "Cold." I can see the condensation on car windows, hear the sound of tires on the wet road.I also love the silence between these people and how loud it speaks for them, how much it suffers.

Have you seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? This reminds me of that somehow.

There's something crazy spiritual about this that I can't put my finger on...

Keep writing

Oh, this has such a marvelous mixture of flow and bursting imagery. It's like a mindrush of a situation that keeps escalating down the page. Captivating, I guess is the word. It grasps at a scene and holds it out for public view. Brilliant end line, as it wraps up tightly the entire work. Well done.

Iron trembling, wrinkles in the pool.-wrinkles in the pool, amazing

it is like a catacylsm (what?) of events

Ah... nice. I love how you write. So write more. Yeah!