FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| envirofriendlykrissooo 2008-08-08 ch 1,  | abuseUh. whoa. The sudden jump from the romancy love struck feeling to the "crying in pain" was startling. Gripping, but startling. It was wonderful, the imagery was just right, and the change in that last line, was the perfect ending. "What was the last thing..." Terribly sad. But you know it's a good thing when what you write makes people want to feel something. You definitely achieved that here. |
| Roman C Lee 2008-04-06 ch 1, | abuseOh, oh, this made me so sad. . .makes me wanna slap that guy -_-. But, anyways, I like this poem A LOT. I think because of the emotion it was able to trigger from me. Not a lot of poems can do that-- most of the time it's like 'well, ya ok, w/e' because the author isn't able to bridge you to the story--to make any kind of connection. But your poem really did it; and with so few word too! This is a great poem ^_^ |
| concerto49 2008-02-10 ch 1, | abuseThis felt romantic and really evokes your senses. It tries to get at you from all angles - just leaves you thinking and a little stunned maybe. It's also very demanding - especially in the form of all the questions - constantly asking - sort of like a reflection - a little like a reminder. Whoever it is gives a bossy impression for asking all that, and a lack-of-security type thing. It felt quite warm all the way, but the last three sentences suddenly turned negative and I saw - ah angst, but gosh it just so suddenly sort of shifted the mood. It's so emotional. |
| Everything to you 2008-01-02 ch 1, | abuseI love this one too. In the end I almost felt her pain. How she loved him yet he left. It flowed, but I feel its missing one more 'Whats the first' in it. Like'When was the first time it ran through your mind you wanted to leave me?' Or something like that. other then that I loved it. ~Everything to You |
| LachelleMarie 2007-12-23 ch 1, | abuseI enjoyed it. I felt as if the what was the first was repetitive. Or if you really feel like staying with the whole what was the first? Then you should keep the same routine going when you are talking about how he foudn the person dead. Example: What was the first thought that ran through your mind when you found me... Anyways continue on and I hope to read some more from you. |
| JezabelRomih 2007-01-29 ch 1, | abuseMe pregunto si esta poesía va dirigida a alguien en perticular. Me imagino que sí, porque el sentimiento es el mismo que en la última que has publicado,y la verdad es que lo entiendo muy bien. Es increíble cómo una persona puede marcarnos, no crees? |
| China Doll Rockstar 2006-12-23 ch 1, | abuseI love this poem ! Dark and depressing, but I like it. |
| Ladiebug 2006-10-18 ch 1, | abusei love it. You've somehow captured everthing 'first' in just a short paragrapgh. wow, nice work. =) |
| ShadowFane 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abuseBut...I like my teddy bear. :) I liked this a lot. Dark, kinda depressing...yep, that's my life today. :) Great job! SF |
| Playing Games 2006-09-05 ch 1, | abuseMy teddy bear will kick yo' **. D: Love the poem-thing. |
| writerwithoutacause 2006-08-05 ch 1, | abusebeautifuli love the underlying sadness in it.you have a gift. |