Reviews for What I Once Thought Was Right, Is What?

Reviews For: What I Once Thought Was Right, Is What?

EverythingWeHad 2007-07-10 ch 11,	abuseNO!! this one was short.. =[ PLEASE UPDATE!! i think Matt has feelings for Jo!! i love this story so far. =)
Mindy 2007-07-09 ch 10, anon.	abuseIt's really really good! Please keep up on writing it. I so can't wiat for the next chapter!!
SuperCUTEJensen 2007-06-27 ch 9,	abusegood chapter,i cant wait to see what happens next... pls post soon
DawntoDusk 2006-11-29 ch 6,	abusehmm...its good. it could be a little longer though. you could do a lot with what you have to lengthen it and add more depth
DawntoDusk 2006-11-29 ch 5,	abuseuh...wow? lol i don't even want to know...
The Ferrett 2006-11-24 ch 6,	abusematt should kick his arse! Go matt. Down milo.
The Ferrett 2006-11-24 ch 5,	abusemilo is a bastard!
The Ferrett 2006-11-24 ch 3,	abusematt is jealous oh
DawntoDusk 2006-08-13 ch 4,	abusenot bad. i think if you used my suggestions from the last chapter and added it to this one it could be better. maybe you could add something else to this chapter. some incident with milo or something. its good but not a lot happened. keep it up!!
DawntoDusk 2006-08-13 ch 3,	abuseinteresting...to improve this chapter, I think you should add some more emotion to it. the main character needs to have a little something more to make her really come off the pages. like when she is talking to her crush, you cant really tell that she likes him by her actions. she doesnt blush or stutter or anything. she acts all calm and collected. and then when she finds out that she has a date with him, she doesnt seem nervous or overjoyed or anything. Its a good chapter though. but yea, add a little bit more emotion to her and you will be good!
DawntoDusk 2006-08-07 ch 2,	abusehey babe. this is pretty good for your first story. there are a couple of things that you can do to improve though. Some of the sentences aren't very clear. You can take a word out, like "so", and it would sound better. Also, there are some words that you can replace so that it doesnt sound as wordy. For instance, when you say "“Love,” That was all I said and I didn’t need to say anymore" Instead, you can say "Love" I replied simply. That way you cut out a lot of words that you don't need. You could also add in some description to the chapter. Add some scenery and details to break up the conversation. Other then that, i applaud you for actually completing a whole chapter! That must be a record for you. Xoxo.
catharsis7 2006-08-06 ch 1,	abusevery short, but to the point, i like it.
A.realistic.romantic 2006-08-06 ch 1,	abuseI probably wouldn't be as amused with this whole little bit if it weren't for the fact that i have been through the entire first two paragraphs before. And even said them. Well i'll be awaiting what comes next!

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