oh and i think it should be on here

that was much better there are still a few mistakes here and there but nothing really big your going to have to go more in to Bahamut being king i don't really understand that i hope you finish this story i really like it

If there is two people writing a story you really should make sure that your staying in the same tense as the other writer because one of you is writing in past tense and the other in present or one of you is doing both but you should really watch that.