 young and the reckless 2009-04-20 . chapter 1"she's the pressure of your foot on the gas pedal"
stunning, to say the least |
 ballpoint portraits 2008-10-26 . chapter 1i'd say "good" but it's much better than that, and i'd think it was silly, to use such a...prosaic word for such a completely un-mundane piece. |
 HurtMe 2008-06-06 . chapter 1It looks like you wrote this a long time ago, so I don't know if you still use this account, but this poem was too good not to review. This piece is absolutely beautiful. It is so well written that it makes me shiver. Superbly done. |
 she smolders 2007-03-10 . chapter 1she makes me wish that i could just give her a hug. this is lovely. |
 Panicking With Hesitation 2006-08-28 . chapter 1wow thats really good.
-totally love your username.
-im always wondered what: Fin means. and im been writing for three years now... thats sad.
-keep writing. |
 Chaos Apple 2006-08-23 . chapter 1God, this caught me and hel me and -it wouldn't let go- this is painful and addicting and perfect. |
 Shes Never Known Happy 2006-08-21 . chapter 1this was really good it reminded me of the writer frachsca la block lol i hope i spelt the right anyways good work |
 ClassicElfRyoko 2006-08-19 . chapter 1all I can say is *wow*! This poem made my jaw drop. I loved the last lines especially. wonderful! |
 suicidal-greeting 2006-08-15 . chapter 1Absolutely gorgeous.It's addicting and sexy, just like "she". Great work.Much Love-->Suicidal_Greeting |
 no.peace.los.angeles 2006-08-10 . chapter 1Beautiful and sexy. I love love love that first stanza. If that alone was the entirety of the poem, I would for sure be putting this on my favorites. However, I felt that the rest of the poem fell a little from that point, from that great opening line of "she's an anorexic's rib cage." Shut up, that's fantastic. I like how you've used metaphors throughout, but the images weren't as strong as the first stanza to me. I think the phrase "lips like sugar" is a little cliche (though I've used it before, too), though you do counteract that with the next line about vodka-spiked orange juice (you could even say "tinged with the taste of screwdrivers" there and it might work...assuming that people know that by screwdriver, you're referring to the drink and not the tool). Anyway, that's enough rambling. This is still pretty great. Keep writing! :) |
 Aquafied 2006-08-07 . chapter 1does any not need to be saved?
i really like it though, i need a tan. |
 do not resuscitate 2006-08-07 . chapter 1that last stanza. how'd you think of that? the internal rhyme and the ending. it makes the poem. so pretty. |
 WiltingBlackRose 2006-08-07 . chapter 1Oh wow, that was beautiful.
I really do love the way you phrase things. I get a lot of imagery from your poems and they are very inspirational. |
 wordsworth in a garbage can 2006-08-06 . chapter 1I change my claim from before- you are the best writer here. it started a little slow- but, then you just, described everything so vividly and perfectly and then it just goes up in flames (in a good way, I mean.) you have so much talent in you, everytime I read something you write, I'm- literally- floored. and for the most part, it takes a lot to impress me. but the way you write. my god. CAN I BE YOU FOR ONE SECOND, PLEASE? I'm gushing. I'll stop. (sorry- it's just, you, I have to review, dammit.) |
 Prevaricate 2006-08-06 . chapter 1perfect. |