This is actually well written and I liked the images you have mentioned in this poem. Where did you come up with the inspiration to write things like this?

Freebie Review! =)

This poem is very...deep (to me) and it flows very well. I particularly like how the poem starts off as passing of what could happen in the real life world and then goes on towards a fantastical view of the world (through our author's mind) - this is interesting and unique.

You have some great imagery here too. One phrase I particularly liked was "From tangential tetras to alpha betas,". You mixed in some mathematical terms with species of fish in here. I never would have thought to describe fish in this manner. Haha.

I was a little confused in the third stanza where you speak of the schoolboy watching the world explode. But overall, I enjoyed this piece - it was different and refreshing all at once.

~silv3rdr34ms

review game! (:

"his head packed sardine-tight"

If you wanted this phrase to be grammatically correct, then you should have a comma. Since it's poetry though, it doesn't really matter. (:
But that's the only thing I would change.

I really, really liked the section about the fish and the windmill from Switzerland. "Beneath me, the miniature metronome spins/in its engraving, a time windmill from Switzerland." That was just pure... poetic. That was a lame adjective. I guess it just made somuch sense to me! Great job!! I liked it a lot.

--Brittany