Well I thought I should submit a proper review, seeing as you did mine. I found the plot interesting and read right to the end, but there are a few things you could maybe change? I didnt get the part with Kayno in the second chapter, was he a god? I didnt quite understand all of the second chapter anyway, especially near the end, you might want to go through it again. One final thing, i thought that maybe the storyline moved a bit fast, you could slow it down and take the time to describe more. And finally again, did you mean to put the local piss is kidnapped. I still dont get it.Other than that i thought it was very good, you have some interesting ideas.Oh and feel free to criticise mine, i need to make it better.

The local piss is kidnapped. hmm. not sure what that means, but the story is good!

Umm the local piss is kidnapped? Did you mean to put piss?