 Chaos Apple 2006-08-13 . chapter 1Well, I think this is a great poem, though I'm a bit let down by the ending. I expected something a bit more powerful, with more feeling.
The way this poem moved the reader along-you did that wonderfully. I didn't lose interest halfway through, and I /wanted/ to read the whole thing. |
 thedarkthatiwas 2006-08-11 . chapter 1This is great... I can relate, in my own way, very much, and the poem is wonderful... oh damn. I'm tired tonight and can't even think of anything to say. IT'S GREAT THOUGH I KNOW THIS MUCH.
I love the feeling of this poem... lost and regretful, and hopelessly wishing that things that happened didn't... the repetition of a couple of phrases is effective... very. |
 steinbock 2006-08-09 . chapter 1 great poem! i really like this one. I'm going to be blunt, but some of your poems aren't my cup of tea (they're great poems, just not the style i tend to read) but this one, i really liked. you captured the regret nicely. well done! |
 Nobody-n-Particular 2006-08-09 . chapter 1The last line is not satisfying - it is not as strong as some of your other endings I've read. I do like the wistful expression in the poem, and the flow. |
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