Heh, this was really good. Just... one question: When are we? You don't die of canonballs now a days, so it must be 1700-1800, which would make what Evita does, fighting whilst being a woman, completely unthinkable; plus she'd go bananas over the elevator rather than just... react in calm disturbance.

if it werent 3 in the morning, I'd have more to say, but for now, you should know that this story is AWESOME! its very good and its short and just yeah. enjoyable. love the sort of historical setting and just everything. well done!

I love it. this story has a really fun feel to it, you know? love the setting. I also like the... um... militaryness. I dont know if that made any sense. it's way past bedtime for me.

lovely story beginning! it's so quirky and awesome. I very much loved when kindness showed up. why is she called kindness when she's not kind?

and what was truth going to call her? sel...

Cute. The shameless romantic in me wishes there was a bit more fluff between Evita and Death, but it was a good story.

Cry, sob, sob, wail! That is the BEST story you have ever written! When is the secqual comming out? I'm gonna realy start crying! It's so good! Darn you!! Write more! Hurry up!!
P.S. thanks for the beautiful story!

You have no idea how much that first line made me laugh. Not because it's an odd line but because I have in fact been asked that question before. Well, not the first part. In the Army you very often have a 'battle buddy' which is sometimes shortened to just 'battle'. So the question 'Do you know where your battle is?' makes a lot of sense.

This story is great. If it wasn't so late I would read on, but I'll definitely come back to this tomorrow. I love the 19th century military setting.

Very interesting! I can't wait to see how they get out of this! Btw, why is death afraid of anybody living, ie. the general?

Ha :) Yes, the chapter pleases me. :P Sorry I couldn't think of more to write than I did. When a story's good all I can think to say is that it is. I can't really say I know much about the Partisans besides that they existed, or do exist, or whatever their curent state of being is (see, I don't even know that) but you seem to, and I find it all very interesting.

Anyway, as I said, your story is great. So...yeah, that's all I can think of again. -_-

Hey!

I'm really Likeing the plot, the humor, the characters, and the battle theme that you've constructed for this story. It is well put together and very entertainting.

There where just a couple of grammar mistakes that I found and thought you might want to know about:

Mistake 1: "The last straggling line of an interesting dream left Evita'shead as sheawoke on a lush red couch nestled in a small square room next to a desk and chair. " Is what you wrote. You should have said Evita's head not evita'shead. You should have also written she awoke not sheawoke.

Mistake 2:"...to look at the other items in the room.Against the opposite corner was an olive green cabinet and a freestanding hat rack." Is what you wrote. Just add as space between the period after room and before Against.

This is a really great read. You have done a wonderful job researching and gathering information about what is needed for your story. It is very obvious that you have worked hard and that it has paid off.

I can't wait to read more!

~florida

this seems like an awesome story. I hope you write more soon!

can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Oh, very nice. I love the sort of mercenary atmosphere. MOHL is a fantastic invention on your part. It is a little more science-fictiony than I would have thought from the first chapter though, for some reason.

"“I think you could pull off Pessimism. Brigadier, isn’t that a good idea? Well, I mean, I still think she’s-” - I wasn't sure who was speaking here.

You know, for being in a completely alien setting, EVita doesn't seem as...thrown off as I would expect. Maybe this is her personality, but if I nearly died and then ended up talking to Death, I would be skeptical, to say the least. Maybe you could play up these emotions a little more? Just for the "pathos" element..

On the whole, very very interesting. Kudos for inventiveness, for sure! :)

Really interesting beginning. The plot is creative and your image of Death is very funny. "Briggy death" is a pretty sweet name :).

The one thing that stood out for me was that the beginning was very abrupt. I think it would be a better beginning if it started with, perhaps, a little scene of the cannonball rushing to her, and something dramatic like "and then she saw no more" or something. This gives us some context before jumping into the plot. I think, also, it would just be a better attention grabbing hook.

Anyways...good job! Very creative :)

Oh yeah, I forgot: EXCELLENT title.