He followed her scent from club to club, to a dorm room stinking of blood and liquor, sex and fear. He wrenched the door open to find her there, passed out on one of her victims, her face smeared with red. Another lay against the wall, throat torn out, an expression of terror frozen on his face. The roommate, Angelo guessed, who walked in on them.

Chloe was naked, blood-smeared. It was everywhere, overwhelming his sinuses like the rage overwhelmed him. He grabbed her, shook her awake. “**!” he screamed at her. She only laughed. “You’re mine, damn you!” She kept laughing even as he undid his belt, only ceasing when he tangled his hand in her hair and wrenched her around, over the edge of the bed, face-down in the soaked mattress. She screamed, she cried. He shoved himself into her so hard it hurt him too. Chloe clawed at the sheets, tearing them off the mattress in her panic. “**! I’ll teach you,” Angelo howled, thrusting into her, feeling her tear inside.

When he was done, her cries had quieted to sobs and groans. He released her, a handful of blonde hair dropping from his fingers, and she lay limp, back convulsing in sobs. Angelo pulled his pants back on, and turned to leave.

That part confused me, wait no just got it , that was a dream, well then all I have to say is you should work on transitions. I really liked this, I wish that you had made an epilogue though. :( Very well written, except sometimes the underlines throw the flow off.
Great job!
Elodie~

You know the freaky thing is that if any random psycho wanted to go kill a person they could do something like this, if they knew anything about Bacchus. *Shudder* Thank goodness for good fic, it is so dang hard to find on her. I absolutely love this so far. You write really well. At first I was like, oh yah boy likes girl etc, but this is actually interesting so great job on the lead. I usually get so tired of cliches and it's so hard to find stuff without vampires or wolves that isn't cliche I mean. I mean you can't change the lore much but plot line. Anyways I'm gonna read the rest instead of going on and on. XD
Elodie~