Beutiful story, with an excellent and well thought out plot and great writing.

Loved the play on Dorian Gray. Absolutely wonderful story and well-written :)Thank you

I

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! My heart is just about ready to leap out of my chest! Please, please don't let anything go wrong now that Clara has the house!

Wow, this is very well written! The detail is amazing, and it's so horrific I'm shaking in my seat! Probably wasn't the best idea to read this at 3:36 in the morning, huh? ;)

Great story... I loved all the mysteries and the final selling of the house at the last moment, very well written too. I'm surprised that Death left her alone at the end though... I thought he was going to pester her or try to kill her or something.

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I absolutely loved this story! I especially liked the part where Clara decides to buy the house. It was like a wave of relief to know that Daria won't die. And it was really shocking to find out Sybil was immortal too. Kudos on this story!

This is absolutely fabulous! If I were you, I'd try to get this published in a collection of short stories, maybe add a few if you have more. You only get what you try for, so what do you have to lose?

So many things to say! I'm just hoping that I do not forget.

First off, in the intention to be a reviewer that helps the writer improve (Because there's no limit to how many times one can improve), I'll give you some helpful advice for a problem I regularly came across.

Sentence Structure: As in, the 'flow' of your sentences. Here's an example of this problem directly from your story: spend the rest of the morning in the study, flipping through books, but the words on the page slip through my mind like air through a window screen. Sometime around one, I hear Dad's heavy footsteps pass the study. He's slept late again, and that worries me. Though he promises to quit drinking, I'm no longer naive enough to believe that his freelance writing keeps him up so late. His laptop is on the desk next to my books, and there's a layer of dust over it thick enough to trap a fly's footprints.

All of the sentences have the same rythm (sp?). Variety of sentence lengths and tones is really important to how the reader percieves the story. Just a thought to keep in mind for future reference.

Now to other things I noticed.

Does this story, by any chance, have a connection with Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray?

Your main character's description sounds exactly like my main character, Alecia Crawford. I just thought that was cool.

Also, I love how, at the end of the chapter, you make your readers want to feel bad for Daria Vane. At first we want to hate her, but you've made that not so easy to do. Confusing the readers is one of the best author skills.

Your story happened to be in one of the same supernatural communities as mine, Enjoy the Silence I think, and the description really sucked me in. It's been three or four years since I first joined this site, three or four years since I've been as intensely interested by any story on Fictionpress. I always felt that stories about haunted houses were terribly overdone. They could never be scary, nor interesting anymore. However, this story is making me doubt that belief. I like it. There are a few typos here and there, but it's far too easy to overlook them for the marvelous plot.

In all, I will be a frequent reader. The summer time, for me, entails hours of reading and anime. I only have three more chapters to go before I complete my novel. This will be the Fictionpress story that kicks my summer off. You should get the notice soon that I've added this story to my favorites. (I'd add it to story alert, but I think you've completed it already).

P.S. And Wow! 89 reviews with 14 chapters! My story has 180 reviews with 41 chapters. I barely had more than 30 or 40 reviews when I reached my 14th chapter.

Good Day/Adieu

Nice.

I love the bit where she buys Daria's house.

What happened to Grandma?

Wow.

So, I just finished this story. I must say this was pretty good. More than good. There was a few grammar mistakes, and I mean, in some places it could get boring, yet it pulls you in, obviously making you want to read more. In some of the wolf scenes and others it's kind of unclear, but I truly liked it in general. I enjoyed the end. It didn't totally catch me by surprise, but it was a nice ending. I would love to see a sequel, but again, it's good by it's own. Again, great story, I loved the concept.

Rachel

Okay, wow, that story was amazing! I felt like I had shivers the entire time, it just had that overall creepiness feeling to it (this is a good thing, in my opinion!). My favorite part was the chapter 13, when they were making the deal. There was just so much anticipation there, I thought it was very well-written.

As for improvement: I'm not sure. One thing maybe would be the stuff revolving around Larson. His appearance was kind of strange... like maybe there could have been more depth to that part, if it was needed at all. But I dunno... it was also fine the way it was, I think?

So, great job!