i luv dis story...
amy needs 2 b a betta person do..
she is a lil' pathetic.

okay, i read your appeal on the skow website so i figured i should give this a look-out. writers in bonding!
and i figure i should be pretty frank here. i think you should fix the grammar, theres some problems with that.
and also, i think you should work on your summary, because its revealed too much of the story and its not giving your characters breathing space. you have to work on that to lure readers in, thats what words. and the title of yur story! you should try to think of something else, maybe? dont get me wrong, i do like this story! if you want any summary help or anything, feel free to contact me!

Oh! Interesting! I haven't seen a plot like this on fictionpress before, good for you. One thing: is it Andrew or Michael in the first chapter? His name suddenly changed, you should fix that, it's confusing. Other than that though, this is pretty good. I'd definitely read more. Good luck!

Hi! I saw your plea via the SKOW Yahoo Group Messages, so I read your story. (:

It's a nice plot, nice characters, and I do like it, but there are things I don't like. You asked for things to improve, so:

-You have some mechanics (little grammar things) incorrect, it'd be cleaner if you fixed that. (:

-Andrew became Michael suddenly, you need to make it all Andrew or all Michael, or else it's confusing.

-The dialogue at the beginning of the first chapter seems out of place; it might be better if you had a "flashback" scene at the beginning of every chapter (It'd connect to Amy more).

-Right now the plot and the characters seem a bit blind. Give your plot more spice and your characters more depth.

I'm sorry if that was really harsh! I really do like it, and I hope this helps. (:

I'm not giving up , not giving up.
You are gonna update sometime, right??
haha. no but i really really really really really wanna read more.!

in-ter-es-ting-.
lol. job well done. I like this, lots.
kudos to you,
ashlyn (:

OMG. Fairfax High :) I know people who go there and if I lived across the street, I would go there.

I love the dialogue
The chatting between the characters is realistic and pretty intriguing. As if you were there with Niaomi and Amy (just the part i like the most)
The interesting thing about your story is the unique plot. It is refreshingly different. I'll definitely be reading more.
As for constructive critizisms: I cnt remember anything wrong with it. So just keep doing what your doing.

heh this is random... when do we meet the new guy though! (u have a couple of spelling errors too btw eg Woman in History.. meant to be women (plural of woman) ) yeah but update soon :) (and lengthen chaps :) )

Great chapter. Update soon.

i like this story so far. I really like the relationship between Amy , Sarah and Naomi. hopefully your muse starts nagging you. I can't wait to find out about the romance part, and if Amy's dad's side of the family ends up playing a role in the story.

woohoo! The last thing I expected to see when I checked my email was an update to this story! But now that I got it, I gotta say, I am SO happy to have it! The interaction between Amy, Naomi, and Sarah was smooth and realistic and funny on top of it all. And I do so like how you made Amy more than a little embarassed about sex, you don't see that in writing anymore.

Fabulous stuff, chica! I can't wait for more, and NO you are not allowed to wait as long to update this time!

Ollie May

I'm intriuged. Keep it up it's good!

hmm i really like this, sounds interesting. Good jon. =]. *thumbs up* heh heh continue please?

I have to say, what a pretty good start! The story sounds promising. I hope you use it to full potential!