I love the whole Alice in Wonderland themed poem, with a very different twist.
"this girl is the true cheshire
with her toothy grin and striped spirits" -Great lines!
And I like how you played off of the queen of hearts and made it the queen of your hearts. Nicely done!
The ending was just perfect!
+Adding to my Favorites :)

Great job on description. Nice title. Good luck with poetry and life. Have an excellent day.

~Twilight Starr~

That was amazing. Lovely. I loved it. = )

It was so unique. That's a breath of fresh air. Wonderful. = )

Loving the Alice in Wonderland - between her and Peter there is some sort of addiction on this site. Your brackets were used very effectively (I especially loved 'the queen of (your) hearts'). You created a very strong sassy and sexy atmosphere through this poem.

It's fascinating how many people on this site use Alice in Wonderland as a metaphor. Anyway, this is nice. The connection of the Queen of Hearts and the Cheshire Cat and Alice herself with real people is nice. Keep writing! :)

this is freakin perfect! i love this poem, every little thing about it, it's just genious. the way you begin it... i can't even pick out a line i like best, cos each part is perfect.

Gorgeous-I'd love to quote my favorite lines, but I'd end up quoting the entire poem.

Beautiful-I love the way it revolves around the ALice theme. You've given it a whole new angle, though.

love the ending. it fits perfectly with the dark but enchanting descriptions in the beginning.-aly

Well, I am an addict to anything Alice-esque and this certainly does not let me down.

"this girl is the true cheshire"and the last three lines are just wonderful. It's beautiful.

"her red wine lips (bloodstain, you read on the lipstick tube)" - Gorgeous line, just beyond what I can come up with half the time; that line just owns me and I ADORE what is in parenthesis, it's perfect.

Oh.

And the "the queen of (your) hearts" was spectacular and I LOVE that referance. ;) So spectacular, so lovely.

Gorgeous poem and just shipping it onto my favs. It's amazing.

~* Noelle

Wonderful. "the queen of (your) hearts / her hourglass(figure) never tells the time; / it only counts down the minutes / to your demise"

I think, though, that "(within her beating chest" sort of throws off the flow of this.

marie