this is good! i like Shuu the best so far, he seem's awesome ^^. hm, is this how ppl review at i dunno...anyways, im glad i saw this website! and this fic! (do ppl still call them fics here?). i'll keep on reading!

nice story, u got talent =P tho i cant really understand 100% of it due to languege stuff, but uhm, it is a nice story. =D

Three things!

One: In the beginning, Manya is a tad OOC... You shoulda let me edit that, you know! :P Meanies.

Two: Gwahahahahahahahahaha! I lurve it! And it just looksh SHO KWAL when you see it all smart and that on teh site.

Three: I like llamas. YES, I KNOW that it has NOTHING to do with the fic I'm reviewing... but who cares, ACTUALLY?

That's right. Not a soul. So ha ha ha.

Yo.

I just laughed myself STOOPID!

Manya/Shuu banter rocks my SOCKS! As does Manya/Kailex banter. :)

All in all... we rock teh MUltiverse, aiit?

"It's not a yo anything. It's just a 'yo'."

LOL! LUV it! Katie dont make the dragon guy...too disturbing...
Kailex gets da title 'Soft hearted Meanie!!'
Shuu gets da title 'Cry baby Master of da Minions!!
Manya, I honor her with a medal of 'Da flying wolf stabbing warrior!!'

keep it up guys!!
Mimi says hi!

Absolutely wonderful story. Please update soon. I love short people. Go Shuu!

autumnaura

Hey! Well guys, I think you're doing a wonderful job, I have to say that Shuu is the most amazingly cool guy, u have to seriously update this story soon, right!btw, Kailex seems so weird...stuck up, and so mean to Shuu, and what's the deal with Manya, is she gonna be nice to Shuu, or mean? Cos Kailex SUX!¬_¬HHJJ

*clapaclapaclap*

Hoorah for the benefits of MSN!

Any, pretty impressive, no I see the finished product. I can't wait to do the next one.

Oh, and one more thing. *holds up finger*

My inner nitpicker is literally dying here. *twitches* See? Anyway, can ya pass the next one over to meh (IF we ever finish it! *teehee!*) so I can polish it?

OK. I will go now. :)

Hey,

It's Marcus. Katie asked me to read and review. I think It's a great story. Great description but not too much. I like that. I hope its not finished cuz it sounds like it could be as long as a novel if finished.

HAHA!! YOUR STORIES ARE SO GOOD! I absolutly love your characters! Katie, Shuu sounds as annoying as ever (keep it up and i'll award Shuu the trophe of "Most annoying person EVER!and if your lucky THE most weird and very perky"). Kailex sounds really demonic! Though shame her wings get torn off... for that i award her with the trophe of "THE MOST Mind Numbing Pain!". Manya sounds like an very interesting character... i hope to find out more about her, but for now i Award her with the TITLE "Blinding Silver Wolf!" (i know its lame with the trophes and titles, but i find it fun!)Keep it up!!

Another great chapter! ^_^ I think your thoughts on description and more intellectual words is really coming along well! One little critisism (OMFG IM GIVING A CRITIQUE AND I CANT SPELL! LOL) would be about... It's hard to explain... Try and give it a more... Thoughtful, less repetitive and emotional approach... taht may not have come out right...-_-"

xSammyx

Mojo-Lady! XD thats made me laugh!--Serious Mode Engaged--The length, for me was a bit too lengthy but it was definately not rushed and its easy to see the time you have put into this. I'd like to see more personification and onimatapoeia(sp?) in your story to give a little extra...Uh.. I cant think of the word but you know what I mean (serious mode aint too serious, is it?) I suggest you work on describing the smaller deatils and features of the world surronding a character and describing the character themselves. Also, try not to be too repetitive with some phrases.--Serious Mode Terminated--ZOMG! SQUEE!! ^_^ Shuu sounds so cute! *gets slapped with huge sombrero* i absolutely ADORE his personality! Hmm... Reminds me of Gippal from FFX-2 and Jack SPicer from Xiaolin Showdown...

Very good indeed! "Her hand, a slim hand seemingly better suited to piano playing than sword-fighting" This may of seemed simple, but it was effective, and painted a clear picture of how lethal this character is. T'was excellent though I believe the use of more adjectives and similies, a metaphor or two, is in order here. They will add to the feel of your story.

xSammyx A pleasure to read ^_^

Wow! That was great! The description and effort put in cleary showed as i read through. I felt, however, it seemed a bit rushed and that you could have carried the description further. Examploe, describe the air, how it felt, or put in more detail what Shuu's clothes were like and how he crept across the room.

Other than that, it was great! ^_^

:)

Good one.

*halo* What? So I'm reviewing what is technically one third my story... yeah and?

*grin*

See ya 'round...