I really liked how relatable this is. It gives the reader a sense of belonging, like you're writing about their life, it's lovely.

I didn't really get the name Jeremiah. Where does that come in? I would have used the rabbit somewhere in here, it would have connected much more smoothly.

-RM, link's on my page.

i can relate to this a lot...i loved it ;) awesome job and nice emotions here!

You are one of the few people who i've read where I have totally understood the use of italic and bold and other things like that. they really add to thepoem and make it a great poem rather then a very good one.

x

i can feel the rage swelling up from the very first word...& the last few ('&& you were saving her from them…before you let her go') chilled me to the bone. i can definetly feel every emotion in this as i am reading it; it has such powerful words & you put it all together in such a mind-blowing way.

ex oh ex

- Lacey

I know how you feel where that addiction just doesn't feel the same way ((or even see it)). heartbreaking poem.

any chance you're on myspace? i just left a really lengthy post on a group i happened to run across today... i think you'd be interested... it's called "Love is Suicide"... and yes, i know i'm an internet junkie, but it's not like there's anything else to do at 2:26AM, except get fucked up, and money's useful when trying to do that.

ah, this is so, really, it burns. it hits like a car- and I say that in the highest regard. I need to pick myself up off the ground after reading something like this. I like how "whore" and "sober" sort of rhyme. in my mind, at least. excellent.

Me Too.

Wow, so angry. Nice job. Very interesting spurt.