FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| tesa131313 2006-12-15 ch 1,  | abuse"trying so hard to fit in that you just stand out" that line is brilliant |
| vampiric-happenings 2006-12-09 ch 1, | abusegreat work! :D |
| paper dolls 2006-10-08 ch 1, | abuseThe message is cliche, the haikus are poorly written, and the ending is weak (not to mention stupid). PS: MCR blows. |
| call me ish 2006-09-30 ch 1, | abuseam i proud to be an outcast... no. an outcast wouldn't be proud to be on on definition. if you are an outcast it is because THEY(society, cliques etc.) choose to reject you, not visa versa. No one can choose to be an outcast. Can people choose to be loners? yeah. i do and hell yeah im proud to be one. the first haiku, was awesome :). was proud that someone was able to sum up something i think every day in so few words. the second one, honestly it left me wanting more. i don't know how "good" it was in actuality (by itself) but when paired with that first ohsogood one, it comes off as weak :/. if you either split the two of them up and published them seperatly or rewrote the second one to make it match the first on a "strong" level, i think it would make this a much better thing. overall though, i really did like this. the overall message was strong and obviously heart felt. |
| PocoSnow15 2006-09-26 ch 1, | abuseI am so proud to be an outcast! Who really wants to be friends with populars? They're all really jerks. Glad to see some one else is happy being who they are! Thanks for your review! |
| Leeona Trance 2006-09-24 ch 1, | abuseThe first haiku is beautiful, a solid poem. I have to agree with your other reviewers in saying that the ending is weak. Haikus are really too short to have any effective repetition. I would suggest revising it, but what really matters is what you think of it. In any case, I thought it was good overall. ^_^ ~Leeona Trance |
| Camilleta 2006-09-16 ch 1, | abusenice! oh and thanks for the comment. =) |
| All Alone With Her Thoughts 2006-09-12 ch 1, | abuseHmm. I like the idea, but not the real writting. You could expand on this to make it better.Thanks for reviewing my work. No, you weren't mean. The piece you reviewed was actually one of my worst poems. Could you maybe review another one of my things?Thanks.~Rowan~ |
| Princess-anna57 2006-09-09 ch 1, | abuseFascinating haikus! Well done. Keep writing. ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| alice is dying 2006-09-04 ch 1, | abuseOh dear...why is it that so many ppl like this? I, personally, think the ending is quite weak and that the message is unoriginal. It was a good attempt. I'm going to read your other stuff in hopes that it is better than this. |
| theatrical rhapsodies 2006-08-30 ch 1, | abuseNice. I can feel this. |
| not-really-susan 2006-08-29 ch 1, | abuseThe ending's a little weak. I don't know why. It just feels that way. |
| Joe Dead/Jack the Ripper 2006-08-28 ch 1, | abuseProud to be an outcast! I love that! From one outcast to another, GOOD JOB!! |
| Choke on this 2006-08-26 ch 1, | abusecould use some elaboration but cool last line in first stanza it fits |
| PunkShade 2006-08-24 ch 1, | abuseCool shit yo |