I really like this chapter so far, it's unique and interesting. Can't wait to read more ! :)

I love the way that you described the whole war! it was great!

Okay, that so can't be the end...I really love the story though! Definitely don't abandon it!

Action-packed awesomeness! lol - great chapter!

Great story so far. Can't wait to finish it!

I liked the story. lol.

I sure hope it's not another magical school story. I'm kinda tired of those. this is a great story so far!

Geez...make it sound like the old woman is selling him into slavery. That would seriously scare me half to death though, being dragged off the god knows where with a bunch of stragers. Awesome story!

I would never want to be blonde! Blech! I'll stay with my brown hair, thanks. Although, if I ended up in that place, I suppose I would have to die my hair, too. Damn.

Well, that sucks. It's kind of ultimatum-ish. Actually, I would probably be phsyced to stay there. Reality is for squares!

Gah! I wouldn't want anybody sticking their hands in my head! So creepy! Cool chapter.

Is it just me, or is the whole randomly appearing in a magical world thing kind of cliched? It was good though, don't get me wrong!

Aw, I hate bad guys who refuse to die! They're so annoying...great prologue though!

gettin' more interesting by the chapter. can't wait to see what happens in the advanced combat class. i bet derrick gets the living marhsmallows beaten out of him. :D

The story ran smoothly enough; I wouldn't worry about being rusty. Mistakes can be fixed, writing can be polished - what is more of a problem is when you start have characters acting inconsistently or the like - and you don't have any problems there. the characters are well done, believable, and behave consistently (ok, i don't mind characters being a little unpredictable, but in some stories it's excessive)

Anyhow, i didn't notice any major problems with the writing. on the contrary, it was good.

please keep writing, as this story *is* really enjoyable, i swear (at least, in my opinion, it's excellent). You don't end each chapter with a cliffhanger like other authors do, but the story is interesting because you keep introducing new things (the whole combat stuff). Besides, this chapter, the fight, was fun.

"revising my plot" So you *do* have some greater direction worked out for the story? i don't mind meandering a while at the school -- so far it's been interesting! -- and there are still many things about the place, and the world it's in, which are unclear, and curiosity-enticing. I do hope there is some long term plot (i think there will be. i mean, those shadowhairs, the chances are they'll be coming back... the chances are too, that derrick gets himself into some trouble. If he's unlucky, they might even find out he has black hair. There's a chance he has magic too... there's his quest to return home... etc So it's not like you're parched for possibilities.

please keep writing. i'm really enjoying it.