Okay, I'm about to fall asleep and didn't have the energy to do the review as you go along thing. Sorry. I'll just have to stick with the big sum all at the end.

First off, I don't know if I have ever mentioned it before, but I really like the character Amber. But then again, I am a bit partial to characters who stutter. It's rare to find a female who stutters, in real life or in a story, so it's nice to see it once in a while (and, er, it makes me feel less lonely or something, finding someone who is like me...). Anyway, yeah, her stuttering is written very well and consistent. I don't know if you modeled that off of someone in real life or what, but it was very believable... with the blocks on those sounds that require stopping the airflow. Okay, yeah, I'm getting way too technical right now. Anyway...

Well, what a nice conclusion! So secretly I was kind of hoping for that kind of ending, but it felt weird for me to be thinking of it like that. I mean, usually you want the main character to live, right? But in this case, I just wanted her to be happy, and it was clear from the beginning that she did not enjoy all that was going on with her new life. And the scene where she pictures a typical day before the vampire stuff came along was great. It takes us back to the beginning.

Congrats on finishing your story! I bet you are very pleased, and I am happy that you accomplished such a great thing! It's a wonderful feeling for both of us!

Okay, the intro to this chapter is so creepy. It's like, she's all alone suddenly, and yeah, that's just creepy. Not to mention, the skull being missing and then she found it way far away. What's going on? Yeah, that's what I want to know too!

Gosh, poor Irene. She just can't escape all the fighting here, can she? Broken arm and all, and now she has to go through another round of beatings. I still have no idea what happened. Maybe if I would stop typing stuff for five minutes and keep on reading, I would find out.

(five seconds later) Ah! Was that DEATH that just came and whacked Gabriel? Holy...

Um, no, I'm way wrong. LOL.

Have I ever mentioned that I like how your vampires drink from the wrist? I always thought that was so much classier, and definitely what I would do if I were a vampire. The neck thing is too overdone.

Hmm.. a nice point is made there at the end. Irene being with Cyrus only to protect her from Gabriel... but with Gabriel gone, does she need Cyrus around now? And what's going to happen with her being a vampire now? Is she still going to be able to have her family and friends? Weird...

Okay, so if I had my say, and you did have to combine chapters to meet your cap, I would say combine chapters 36 and 37 just because not so much happened in 36, but a lot happened in 38, and I think you would want to keep that one by itself. I liked this one. Great job! Keep up te nice work!

PS, sorry for my strange reviews. I kind of go insane when reading and reviewing stuff.

EW! Okay, that was very graphic (but, you know, in a good way). It definitly shows Gabriel's nature! Wow, harsh. (you know what I'm talking about right? That beheading moment. eep!)

This chapter seems pretty fast paced. From the moment when the loud sound occurs, signalling the start of all the fighting going, it just seems choatic. I guess that's the sense you wanted to create, as that's probably exactly what was going on.

Whoa. That ending was crazy! All the fighting, and then I thought that Irene was in the clear, but then she wasn't, and then a SKELETON! What happened? Oh, wait, I have one more chapter to go.

I've been meaning to read and review more of this (now that I can since voing/judging at tiro is over), and now I finally am. I'm so proud of myself. Okay, I'll stop typing nonsense and get to the reading and reviewing part of this thing!

Hmm.. quite a dramatic build up for what is yet to come, it seems. I must keep reading.

Okay, yeah, that review was terrible.

Lovely, as per usual. I'm really looking forward to seeing how this ends.

One minor slip though. "If you were too say otherwise I'd know you were lying to impress me, or maybe just impress yourself," the 'too' should be 'to'. Just felt I should point that out. It's not criticism anyway, seeing as though you already said yourself that you didn't really check through it. Update soon! :)

alright, what just happen? i guess it is safe to assume that layla turned her?

Lovely. Can't wait for the next one!
Oh, and, congrats for your nomination! This story deserves it.

I like your story. I've read through all the chapters. I like that you do things to your characters that most other authors wouldn't do to their characters. I have a feeling your story is going to be longer than 35 chapters, a lot longer, is it not?

okay it seems that layla is still alive...

Wow, I don't normally read vampire stories these days, but yours is definitely unique. I like you description of the relationship between Irene and her friends, and also Cyrus. You bring a certain individuality into the genre that I really like. and I hope you update soon - this story defintely doesn't have enough reviews!

Hey! Congratulations on your TiRO nomination!

I just wanted to let you know that I read this story! Unfortunately, I'm not giving you anything else except that because I want to remain completely neutral in this "review" that isn't actually a review proper.

I'm judging Best Drama/Angst for the TiRO awards this round, and your story has now been read as part of my duties as the judge. Winners won't be announced until January or whatever, so hang tight.

This with out a doubt has to be the best story I've ever read on Fiction Press, and I've read a poo load. I really enjoy the character development, the direction the plot has taken and such. I hope you finish this story because it would be a real shame if you didn't. So good luck writing the next chapter and I hope to read it soon =].

Hey!
Just wanted to tell you how great a read this story is. It's depressing to see (in terms of reviews) how under appreciated this story is. That's fictionpress for you I spose; any half arsed story about a "hot/popular jock/bad boy and the loser/loner/geek/emo girl" is almost certain to garner an unhealthy amount of attention. Good to read a story that breaks the mold.

I have particularly enjoyed how you've built the relationship between the vamp and the human. It's easy for a writer to forget that two people (regardless of the fact that one is a mythical creature) don't fall in love after one look into each others eyes. Instead, here I am 13 chapters down the line, without blatant sexual chemistry - and I'm loving it! It's so refreshing.

One criticism though, this chapter is so overloaded with the name "Irene" it's a bit distracting. A simple "she" wouldn't go amiss. ALSO, I haven't had a chance to backtrack, but I think you've changed the POV a couple times, and it doesn't really flow. Irene's POV changes to the writers POV and even the unnecessary input from Cyrus about pizza delivery?

Still, I'm loving it so far and can't wait to read the rest.

M xx

I love everything about this story! You're doing a phenomenal job, and I really can't wait for more :)

~Carm~

cool she is a vampire
keep it up and update soon