I think the last word should be leaves not leafs... I don't mean any disrespect, but it's possible that the form is a bit too accesible. In poetry, words are a fairly arbitrary measurement. It isn't like syllables which are constant. Once again I'm not denigrating your form, but it seems like along with being easy to read, the jorio is a bit simple to write.

I adore this, it isn't what I expected from the title. I was sort of looking for another heady concoction of depth and dreaming, but "when/you went chasing leafs" I laughed. Of course, I only laughed after I scowled at "leafs", immediately brandishing the spelling sword and thinking "it ought to be leaves". Now that I'm re-reading this again, and again, and again, I like leafs better. It's so innocent, and I knew a girl named Leaf, so it carries something more for me. :) bella

A smile came to my face, when reading this. Because it reminded me of my brother and me and how the expression leafs was females to me.

You are simply amazing at this.I've read every single I check back almost everyday to looks for updates.[: