This seems like a horribly conflicted piece, which I tend to think is the best basis for poetry!

"shape of the mouth all wrong,

envisioning lips pressed to mine a million miles away from this heartache.

i bite the inside of my elbow until i want to beg myself to stop.

my teeth remind me how much i hate me."

The self loathing in this is close enough to smell, I swear it is. Almost crushing, and very very real.

That was really good, i loved the line about the candle flickering in the isis. And then you swapped to a different perspective or description that really worked for it. It is definitely very good, something that I can really relate to,

Oh dear. I just got a little sad. I can't say I'm sure what this is really about, I mean really about, but personally I...ugh...I know what it's about, feeling like that now. Another line that keeps me from breathing: "candle flickers in an iris, a tiger lily, a summer garden drowned in weeds". And used so scarcely in this poem, it has a very powerful effect. I don't really like the exclamation mark at the end, though. The last sentence could've been left out altogether - but that's just me.

Very cryptic. I like it a lot.

Keep writing

Alan.