Hi! I read this story a long time ago and still find it funny and ironic. Thank you!

This is an extremely lavish story but underneath the splendour it lacks something. I know I shouldn't go looking for meaning where there ought to be only pleasure but instinct tells me that this story has something to say that isn't being said. The prose (with the exception of sole//soul)is tight but you rely far too much on adverbs. Whenever a writer finds herself using adverbs in place of proper setup, it evidences lazy writing. It's part of the "show, don't tell" rule. If a character says something sarcastic then the dialogue, the posture, the words ought to suggest sarcasm without the weak qualifier "sarcastically". Same with words like "happily", "lazily" etc. If the character is happy or lazy then let him be boistrous, let him drape himself over couches. As Mark Twain would have it, kill the adverbs and the story will really take off and breathe.

That was clever and sweet. I loved it dearly, there should be more stories as witty and well written as this. Best of luck in your other works, E.

Hmm. Not a bad story. A bit lengthy and the character names are eccentric yet you can still get attatched to the lavish lifestyle that your characters live.

The story is a bit slow right now but you'll get into it in later chapters, right?

Good job so far.