FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| moon maiden of time 2006-09-01 ch 1,   | The ending is slightly cheesy but still ridiculously beautiful. But the thing is, you should really pause a moment, focus on the details, on the emotions, make it more vibrant. And maybe use real, dialog, with quotation marks...it'd probably be easier to read. |
| Noelle 2006-08-27 ch 1, | you should keep going. it would be an interesting story. |
| cormorant 2006-08-27 ch 1, | Woot. Could use a little dialogue maybe, but i like it. Obvious refernces, eh? |