FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| lovingjenspoetrycuzitsgood 2006-10-22 ch 1,  | you say "her" a lot but its not so repetitive that it's annoying. accurate title, and you reach the point of the poem with the last two lines which is good style. hey you arent idle online anymore, do u get messages to your phone when you get reviews? newayz, i think you could leave off the "with" when you say "with no faith". it might make it flow better. |
| Raven's Pen 2006-08-27 ch 1,  | The poem itself is fairly good, I liked it. However, I don't like it when authors explain what they've written in an afternote. I think the poem should either be self-explanatory to a certain degree, or the loose-ends should be left open to interpretation. After all, writing is an art form that should allow the reader to see through the perspective of the writer. If you explain it, then it takes away the art of it...that is the beauty of writing, isn't it? (just to let you know, I don't think it needed explaining in the first place. A good reader would pick up on the 'betrayed trust' and 'no faith' for the past relationship, and the 'no attachment/to the living world' for the suicide aspect of it) |